Catching School Refusal Early: Common Signs to a Bigger Problem

Is getting your child to school every day a struggle? Is your child consistently calling from school to go home early? Are they having outbursts that have them removed from class? These behaviors, and more, may be the beginning signs of a larger problem: school refusal.  Recognizing the signs early on is crucial in providing timely support and intervention to ensure a child's healthy school experience. In this guide, we'll explore key indicators and strategies to identify school refusal behaviors before they escalate into more severe issues.

What is School Refusal?

School refusal, or school avoidance, are terms that includes a variety of behaviors that have the same goal in common: miss as much school, a specific subject, or evaluations (tests/projects/presentations) as possible. Children at any age can begin engaging in school refusal. Examples for school refusal include spending extensive time in the nurses office, throwing a tantrum when asked to complete an assignment, going to school but showing such distress (e.g., crying, yelling) that the child is asked to leave the classroom, begging with you to let them stay home from school, and, of course, flat-out refusing to get in the car to go to school in the morning.

Why Does School Refusal Happen?

While there are several reasons school refusal may be happening, it most often occurs because the child is trying to avoid a situation where they feel distressed or anxious. For some students, the distress may be caused by a specific school subject that is challenging for them or the fear of doing poorly on certain tasks (e.g., tests, presentations). Others may worry about peer conflict or social situations. Sometimes, children do not want to go to school because they prefer the way things are at home and/or with their caregiver: comfortable, with access to the things they enjoy! Although many children express some resistance for school work and a preference for all things fun, school refusal behaviors can accelerate and cause some challenges.

When is School Refusal a Problem?

As you can imagine, many children have a day once in a blue moon where they do not want to go to school. However, if you notice that your child’s behavior is escalating in an attempt to get out of going to school or their grades are declining, this may be significant school refusal. Additionally, if you child is refusing to complete work that is graded or are missing specific subjects in school consistently (once or multiple times a week, every week) by coming in late or leaving the class, a serious challenge may be arising.

What Can I Do?

This question is larger than can be addressed within an article. However, a great place to start is to stay in touch with your child’s teachers and other staff to determine if a pattern of school refusal is forming. Ask your child’s teacher if they have noticed that your child is missing specific school subjects, avoiding peers in class or at recess, going to the nurse frequently, or showing extreme worry or anger during the school day.

You can also check out resources that may be helpful to support your child in the “Parent Resources” tab on our website under “Resources for School Refusal”. We additionally have posted a “Motivating your Kids and Teens” video to explore options for rewarding your child, which can be applied when they take steps to get to school and complete assignments. Additionally, you can make an appointment for individual therapy and parent management training through our clinic to help your child get to school. While it can be challenging, addressing these behaviors early through therapy can help your child get to school, and stay in school.