‘Tis the Season: Tips and Tricks to Make Your Next Holiday Party a Success
With the holiday season well underway, the next few weeks are often full of festivities and events at kids’ schools, in the community, and with extended family. These unstructured social events can pose a particular challenge for individuals with selective mutism due to the disruption to usual routines, exposure to unfamiliar people, and unclear speech demands. This article offers parents recommendations for making the holiday season less intimidating — and potentially even more rewarding — for their children with selective mutism.
Tips for Interventions
Set goals and expectations: Prior to the event, think about what your child’s speech currently looks like. Do they only speak with familiar people in familiar spaces? Do they speak to you in public, but only if no one else is around? Discuss brave practices for the event with your child, suggesting specific goals that are just one step above their current level of comfortable speech.
Practice, practice, practice: Once you’ve agreed on a goal, practice the speaking goal with your child as much as you can. Whether the goal involves speaking with familiar people in a familiar environment, new people in a new environment, or somewhere in between, practicing with your child will decrease the novelty of the speaking demand and prepare them for the event.
Arrive early: Get there early and orient your child to the space before the event is in full swing. Establishing speech in the location before it is loud and full of people can be particularly helpful, especially in unfamiliar venues, by providing additional practice one step closer to their goal for the event.
Tips for accommodations
Be prepared to teach SM 101: Friends and family may not understand selective mutism, which can interfere with brave practices or lead to hurt feelings if your child does not speak to them. Be ready to briefly explain that your child is practicing using their brave voice, and prompt speaking partners to use the same scripts that your child practiced with. Don’t be afraid to correct their delivery! For any loved ones you’d like to share information with in advance, the Selective Mutism Association has a brief video that provides a helpful introduction.
Modify speech demands that are too high: If someone prompts your child for speech they are not yet prepared for, be prepared to adjust the demand. For example, if someone asks your child an open-ended question within earshot of many others, the speech demand can be adjusted by asking a forced choice question, asking the question in a more private area, or having your child direct their answer toward you instead of the speaker.
Have a reset spot: It can be hard for children with selective mutism to use their brave voice, even with a well-planned intervention. If your child is struggling with a brave practice, take them to a private area to reset. Practice their speaking goal some more, then determine if they’re ready to try again or if a modified goal is appropriate.
Holiday gatherings can be a great place to work towards new speech goals and celebrate your child’s progress, but the most important goal of the season is to enjoy quality time with loved ones. Children thrive in environments where expectations are clear and consistent, and by providing that structure, you make it that much easier for your child to feel relaxed, confident, and festive.
For more information on handling the holidays with selective mutism, the Selective Mutism Association recently released a 1-hour webinar full of additional guidance and recommendations. If you are looking for professional support for your child with selective mutism in the new year, Thriving Minds is here to help. Call us to learn more about options available to meet your child’s needs. Until then, happy holidays!