Navigating Holiday Gatherings with SM
The holiday season is just around the corner and festivities will soon be occurring at school, with family, and within the community. While fun and exciting, these events can be particularly difficult for children with Selective Mutism, as they can disrupt the routine. Further, they result in additional exposure to unfamiliar people and environments. The article provides some recommendations for parents to prepare for the holiday season and set their child with SM up for success!
Preparation & Intervention
Preview the Event. It can be helpful to preview the event in advance. This can be done prior to the event by showing your child pictures of the venue, explaining who may be there, and describing what activities they can expect. If appropriate, consider visiting the location before the event to help your child become familiar with the environment.
Set Goals. After previewing the event, it can be helpful to identify expectations and goals for the event. It is important to consider your child’s current speaking levels and identify brave practices that are both challenging and attainable for your child. It is helpful to identify goals one step above the child’s current comfortable speech level to help build bravery at these events. Some sample goals that may be applicable to the holidays could be answering a forced-choice question (e.g., "Would you like turkey or ham?"), taking a turn saying one word during a holiday game, or verbally requesting more of a preferred food. In community or school settings, your child may practice by completing speaking goals such as verbally ordering a hot chocolate at a holiday event, asking an unfamiliar person a practiced question (e.g., "Where are the cookies?"), or verbally telling a classmate which holiday craft they would like to make. The key is to make goals individualized, achievable, measurable, and just one step above the child's current comfort level.
Practice, Practice, Practice. After identifying a speaking goal, practicing this goal can be very helpful. Practice the speaking goal multiple times to help your child become more comfortable with the speaking demand and more prepared to be brave. Consider practicing on the way to the event in the car, or even after arriving at the event in a quieter area of the venue prior to the child completing their brave practice.
Prepare for the Unexpected. Finally, it can be helpful to prepare for unexpected situations. Holiday events can be unpredictable, so discuss possible changes with your child in advance. For example, talk about what they might do if an unfamiliar person approaches them, plans change, or the environment becomes overwhelming. Having a plan can help children feel more prepared and confident.
Event Support
Allow Warm Up Time. After arriving at the event it can be helpful to allow time for your child to warm up. Avoid placing immediate speaking expectations on your child when arriving at an event. Allow time to explore the environment, participate in activities, and become comfortable with the people present before introducing planned speaking opportunities.
Supporting Throughout. It can be helpful to assist your child throughout the holiday event. Those at events may not understand Selective Mutism, which can pose challenges. Other guests may unintentionally prompt your child for speech they are unprepared for, or may find themselves with hurt feelings if your child does not speak to them. It can be helpful to explain that your child is practicing their brave voice and assist by prompting speaking partners with practiced speaking-scripts.
Adjust When Needed. It is also helpful to be ready to adjust speech demands if needed. For example, if someone asks your child an open-ended question, you may be able to help adjust this by asking a forced-choice question. Similarly, it may be helpful to have your child direct their answer toward you rather than the speaker in these situations.
Plan for Breaks. Finally, even when pre-planned, it can be difficult for children with Selective Mutism to use their brave voice. If it is becoming increasingly hard for your child, it may be helpful to take them to a private area to rest and reset. During this reset speaking goals can be further practiced. Following practice, goals can be modified if necessary to identify a more appropriate speaking task.
Conclusion
Holiday gatherings can be a fun, exciting way to work towards new speech goals and enjoy quality time with loved ones. Through creating and maintaining environments with clear expectations and structured goals, your child is better able to enjoy the event while practicing being brave!